If you’re beyond “Netfllix and Chill”, “buddy” and “boo” status, and are ready for something steady and long-standing, it’s time to start weeding out the boys (who may be nice) but just aren’t ready to grow up and be the Man. Every Man must go through his stage of immaturity and its NOT your job to try and coach him through it. He must do it for himself. And it starts with him wanting to do so (NOT YOU WANTING IT FOR HIM).
Emotionally immature men can seem nice, easygoing, and loveable, but a man-child will live up to his name every time. There is nothing worse than spending your time and energy on someone who doesn’t seem to be on the same maturity level as you. If your guy seems to fit this makeup, he may be emotionally and mentally immature.
If the man in your life is only an adult by name and age, then maybe it’s time to rethink things…Here are 14 signs (or Red Flags) that your guy is merely a ‘Grown-up Boy’ instead of a ‘Mature Man’.
Mature men put your needs (and your children) before his. Emotionally immature men will ask you to run an errand or to do them a favor but never offer to return favors. If he buys you a birthday present, it’s tickets to a game he wants to see.
2. Hold Grudges
He’ll make the smallest mistake into a big deal and never let you forget it. He’ll bring it up in every argument and laugh about it in social situations.
3. Your Feelings Don’t Matter
He doesn’t want to hear about your day, he’s not concerned how you feel, or what you have to think about a situation or a decision. His priorities are always more important than yours. “Inconsiderate” is a word that usually describes his behavior.
4. His Bathroom is Disgusting
The Alpha Male has attention to detail and his hygiene corroborates this. A mature Man knows that it takes less than twenty minutes to clean a bathroom and that twenty minutes every two weeks is definitely worth the good impression that it will leave on a worthy woman. Truthfully ladies, if he consistently has a dirty bathroom and he allows you to see it, then his level of respect for you should be brought into question.
5. He Doesn’t Like To Commit
The man you’re dating just doesn’t want to commit to anything. He doesn’t want to dedicate his time into you, nor into a purpose. Getting him to spend quality time with you (or on his purpose) is like pulling teeth.
6. Never Wrong
He thinks he’s always right. If something goes wrong its because someone had it in for him and not that he was ill prepared or was unaware of his surroundings. Fights are always your fault, and they usually begin from asking him to do something he didn’t want to do. And when your opinions are different from his own, he ignores them.
7. He Never Makes Plans
When it comes to making plans and sticking to them, you know that’s simply too much for your guy. And likely the underlying reason for this is because you are with a Man who fails to think ahead. He doesn’t plan, nor does he prepare– No dinner reservations, no special date nights, no movies that you’re interested in, no weekend vacations, only spur of the moment actions that take no forethought and planning.
8. He Belittle’s You
He makes you the butt of jokes and boost his own ego by putting you down. He makes your job and duty’s sound unimportant and makes fun of your intelligence—perhaps, rightly so if you’re willing to put up with that nonsense!
9. Theres No Depth To Him
When a man has matured, he has some depth to him. He has inner secrets, longings, stories, and true emotions to share. However, an immature guy has a surface and that’s about it. He has nothing exciting to share about his life and he goes along with what everyone else thinks and says. He cares more about what society thinks than what he thinks. He’s about as shallow as a bird bath. His lack of depth has eventually bored every woman he’s come into contact with.
10. He Doesnt Have a Steady Job nor a Purpose
In reality these are two separate red flags, but for the sake of this list, I have combined them. This man never has a steady or stable job. Instead he works at the warehouse for one month, then gets on at the electronic store, then works part time at the department store. He’s all over the place being blown from here-to-there by life like a leaf in the wind. And this is usually because he has no idea what his purpose is in life.
He has no idea what he wants to do for a living and has no interest in learning any set skills. He prefers to live day-to-day and take things as they come to him. This guy isn’t worried about his future and could care less about where he goes in life. This lack of vision and purpose breeds ‘lack of a steady job’, and therefore he rarely has a consistent flow of money. Here’s what’s most important though– this guy has no desire to find a steady job or his purpose either.
11. Inappropriate Behavior
An Alpha-Male is someone you don’t really have to worry about, whereas the ‘Grown-up Boy’ can be embarrassing. You never know with him; He may drink too much at the office party, bring up inappropriate topics at your mother’s Thanksgiving dinner, and answer his cell phone at your friend’s wedding. And like a child, he’ll probably pout when you correct him.
12. He Cant Be Counted On
When something has gone wrong or you need his help, you simply can’t count on him to come to your rescue. If you need someone to house-sit when you leave town, come pick you up when you are having car troubles, run a errand, watch your dog, or you simply just need someone to talk to, he doesn’t pop in your head as someone to call when problems arise unexpectedly. He prefers to focus only on himself. In the events when you expect him to step up, he only disappoints.
13. Emotionally Unavailable
The ‘Grown-up Boy’ doesn’t want an adult relationship, he wants a party. He wants all fun and no responsibility. All play and no work. They are usually only available NOT when you need them, but when they want there desires met (usually sexually). Mature men don’t play (as many) games. Alpha’s play few to none.
14. He’s Too Comfortable
Your guy prefers to be care and worry free…ALL THE TIME! He lives day-to-day without any long-term goals or aspirations, and as long as his basic necessities are met and he is comfortable, then he is happy. He doesn’t worry about improving his financial situation, his personal development, living a more fulfilling life, or working on ways to better impress you. He’s comfortable and content with not growing anymore. In essence, he’s spiritually dead. This is a huge red flag!
A man displaying a few of these signs should be no big deal. However, if your man has more than 4 of these present, then that is a cause for concern and should be taken into question as to whether you still should consider him for a long-term partner. Use these 14 principles as your R.F.I. list (‘red-flag identifier’ list). But ultimately the decision is yours to make. Consult the list, then your intuition, and choose wisely.
Freedom Strategist & Mental Game Coach
“Are you living your purpose? You can be & I can help! Wait till you see how good Alpha is going to look on You”